We feel so strongly the need to judge and condemn ourselves for the ways we feel we have come up short. We may be comparing ourselves with others and feel we don’t meet up, won’t fit in, won’t be accepted, loved, appreciated. Maybe it is the expectations others have of us, or maybe it’s not attaining to the vision and goals we have set. We are unable to extend the much needed grace, mercy and kindness in order for us to come to a peace within, to be able to move on from were we think we are, to feel the joy which comes from acceptance. In like manner we are unable to extend this to others for ways we feel they have come up short of our expectations. We perpetuate the cycle of suffering, of anxiety, of depression. We live in a constant state of neurosis for not being perfect, whatever perfection is to us. We may find it difficult to coexist with others. Our closest relationships suffer for it. We hide from ourselves, from others, avoiding being found out and letting others know who it is we truly believe and feel we are deep within.
But in order to unconditionally forgive others we must first learn to forgive ourselves. We must emotionally experience it in all its aspects, how it sets us free, brings peace, allows us to move forward without fear, allows us to breath, to live in the moment. How it releases us from the bondage of self and worldly expectations. We slowly come to an understanding of the importance of unconditional forgiveness. All this is needed in order to truly have the ability to forgive others. It allows us to recognize the need, have compassion, to give this blessing to others.
We slowly come to understand the beauty of this gift, of what imparting forgiveness toward ourselves and others produces. We more easily relinquish the need to return evil for evil. In this act we are actually creating fertile ground for others to love and forgive. We break down walls, walls built to protect us from the world. Built out of the need to be accepted by others, to not be judged.
This may bring us to the point of striving to satisfy others to the exclusion of ourselves, our needs, our desires. Some do this at all cost even to the point of enslavement. For this reason we may begin to hate ourselves and others, and resentment grows. But in order to have a healthy relationship with oneself and others, to hold onto the power we posses which can bring about personal satisfaction and that of life, to be truly happy we must establish the worthiness each of us deserves.
We are good enough exactly where we are. We are all on a journey together. Everything is a growth process. Everything you feel is good or bad in yourself and all those you come into contact with is a result of your own personal perspective mixed together with a multitude of varying perceptions. The only way to coexist, to be at peace with one-another is through unconditional acceptance and forgiveness. This is all part of our development, attaining to our mutual full potential.
The development of this perception will be a lifetime process, but we will progressively reap the benefits. We will see a change in the perception we have of the possibility we all possess. Our patients and love will grow. Our peace and joy will intensify. It’s okay and it will be okay. Instead of going backwards we will change our life trajectory and move forward in mutual respect for the process and each other.